| | I need to write a screenplay for a class.
...
And I'm stuck.
I can write stories, I can write memoirs, I can write monologues, I can write reviews and essays and pull my thoughts out of my head and put them on paper in a perfectly eloquent (or at very least coherent) fashion. I think. I've been told. I'm pretty sure.
But god, writing a screenplay...
I know it doesn't have to be good or even slightly plausible. It just needs to be a screenplay, like ten pages long, follow the format, have stage directions and actions and dialogue probably. It doesn't need to be anything I'm proud of.
I can't just write crap. I can't totally bullshit something unless it's something I really honestly don't give a shit about. I'd love to be able to write a screenplay I was proud of, or at least satisfied with.
The problem with movies is that they all strive to be deep and meaningful and I hate that.
I despise movies that try to be deep and meaningful and fail (see: Garden State, Juno, Night, etc. etc. etc. and Juno was cute but so so so so annoying, especially in that everyone told me I looked/sounded like Ellen Page for MONTHS after it came out. They still do. I'm still teetering on whether I find it insulting or somewhat flattering.)
Books can be deep. Music can be deep. Art can be deep. Someone ad-libbing can be deep. But for some reason in my head, things that are 100% scripted and 100% visual... it's just way too visceral and rooted in reality and physical and human to be considered deep.
Actually I don't even like people who think they're deep. At lunch this dude named Josh walked up to me with a pad of paper and pointed to two lines he wrote, which read:
A B C D E
10 11 12 13
He said to read them out loud, so I did.
Then he circled B and 13 and said "These are the same symbol. I wrote them the same way, and yet you named them differently. This leads me to believe that our language is defined by patterns in a context. This is the same as this, only in this one frame of reference. Outside of that, it's something different. Our reality is resting on an intangible truth that we've derived from one context in disregard of so many other existing contexts."
...I smirked. It was all I could do to keep from laughing.
People talk like that when they're high. I know a lot of people who do.
I'm the kind of smot poker who giggles and is silly, but retains some amount of common sense and when any other member of the circle attempts to make some grandiose conjecture about the universe and our individual conscious, I smirk, laugh, and respond with something along the lines of "Wow, you're a total dipshit."
....My true colors. They are shining. All the time.
But yeah. I despise things that strive for depth. They're all just vaguely intellectual silly-putty, stretching to new lengths and getting no where and drying out.
Fuck do I love metaphors, though.
Goddamn I love metaphors.
I lvoe cursing too!
Everything I say, everything I write, everything I draw even: it all has the same degree of passion behind it. I love cursing because dammit I'm full of emotion all the time, and the social standing is, apparently, that cursing is only warranted when the speaker has a lot of emotion that needs to be let out.
I think that's stupid, but I am in no way affected by this social standing because nothing I say is without passion and emotion. Therefore, cursing is always okay.
Actually, no. That social standing is alright. I can't stand the people who insert some lewd expression after every other word as a matter of habit when it doesn't make any sense in context. I hate superfluous words. I hate superfluous everything.
"Shit, I had a fucking boring weekend. I sat on the goddamn couch and watched that one shitty movie that came out that one time. Haha, goddamn I'm such a fatass. Hey bitch, next weekend we should fucking hang out or some shit, so at least I have some fucking thing to do and I don't have to sit on the goddamn couch the whole time."
...If I were on the receiving end of that monstrosity, I would puke, decline and puke again.
Which brings me back to my difficulty with writing scripts.
So many movies are so fucking superfluous.
I think we all would have been reasonably functioning human beings had "Stewart Little 2" stayed on the drawing board. And "Son of the Mask?" I rest my case.
It's so hard to just come up with something that's worth writing... that could potentially BE a movie, and not a totally sucktastic one.
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I'm putting way too much thought into this, it's just a homework assignment. I should write the screenplay for a porno or some b-grade horror film. That would at least be entertaining. |
| | Posted 5/12/2009 3:25 PM - 4 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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